In this episode, I speak with writer and coach Chris Lakin about a deceptively simple idea that has reshaped my perspective on human behavior: locally optimal psychology. Chris explains why so many of us cling to patterns like anxiety, self-rejection, or certain life narratives: not because they’re good, but because they’re the best solutions we’ve found so far for our current incentive landscape. We dig into why “just understanding” your problems intellectually rarely works, the role of feeling your feelings, and how hidden incentives keep us stuck. We also touch on boundaries, the pitfalls of trauma culture, and the subtle traps of self-improvement trends. It’s a conversation about unlearning, clarity, and seeing your mind’s strategies for what they are.
Chris is a coach and writes here on Substack and on Twitter @chrischipmonk
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