Making friends as an adult - the amateur’s guide

On summoning agency, leveraging common enemies and paying the price of cringe.

As we prepare for election season at the heart of the empire, and the world once again (or better said, still) seems to be spiraling toward the apocalypse, my appetite for political punditry is low. Beyond reviewing elite theory for the nth time, getting entangled in the daily grind of politics-as-sportsball feels like a big waste of time, not to mention incongruent with elite theory.

So, I thought I'd bring something a bit more practical to this Substack: a few lessons on adult friendships from a slowly recovering novice at making and keeping friends. 

"I don't know what I think until I write it down." Joan Didion

This is my blatantly incomplete and subjective attempt to review what I've learned and what I need to remember about making friends as I careen toward middle age. I wrote this for clarification, retention, and sparking conversation with my always insightful readers. 

It's been rocky, but I have a few things figured out. 

First, here are a few clues, and probably too much information - hence the paywall - on why this is a struggle I'm so personally invested in and one that I want you to succeed in, too. 

AI interpretation of “Making friends as an adult,” complete with tentacle perfume exchange and chair ponytails.

The positive bits: I'm an extrovert and greatly enjoy close relationships. I'm also chatty and gregarious and can talk to anyone about various things with enthusiasm and curiosity. I like people, and they typically like me back.