this is an important post. I think at some point we're going to re-assess the whole broadcasting aspect of our lives. I like to use the test : "would I post this if no-one was listening/watching?". personally, my posts are often just an extension of a diary, I care not if I'm the only consumer. I also think women are particularly susceptible to the foibles of broadcasting because of their knack for falling into histrionics (broad-brush, yes, I know). I'm reminded of Stephanie Fuchs .. I'm convinced that if she wasn't broadcasting via social media and her most recent book - she would not be living in Africa... but maybe I'm wrong.
My first instincts on the internet was to conceal everything I do, to leave as little traces as possible. I remember while growing up we had to destruct any papers, documents, bills, letters before dumping them in the garbage. Some people supposedly dug into our trash looking for insights and we did it just to be on the safe side. That was then. Now we have infinitely lots more trash, and it's mostly online. But that might not be a sign of relief. So I've been disciplined until recently. Now I've lowered my guard. I'm not in my element anymore. Was trying to push out of my comfort zone.
Swaying back, I wonder if I would be better off with a handwritten journal. Unfortunately people will get to read it too, eventually. Or if it would be better to put everything behind the paywall just to be sure that nobody will reach it online. Using the paywall to keep >>everybody<< out!
I recently had a (much older) friend tell me he has started to write out an auto-biography of sorts. Would I be interested in reading something my grandparents left behind that summarized their life and reflections? YUP. It has made me think about doing something similar, it never occurred to me because I have never considered my life to be that interesting .. but that isn't fair to my unborn grandchildren.
My grandfather did this, also my father, but the same as you, I don't feel like my life is half that interesting. Plus I don't remember much of it weirdly. What remains on the table for me is musings and reflections, and that's what I'm doing. Maybe my unborn grandchildren will appreciate
Admittedly, I am pseudonymous, but I might be changing that.
My biggest issue with a lot of the anonymous accounts, is some of them with spicy opinions, is that basically they to say whatever they want with little to no consequence.
Of course you talk about race and IQ, you have a digital hijab!
I, on the other hand, put an enormous amount of work into what I write, and I make sure that what I say is backed up by fact when I write an op-ed about public policy.
I understand that some people are anonymous for good reasons. And they put a lot of work into their product. But I do think it degrades the overall experience.
The paranoia of "being seen" is the flip side of the narcissism which is driven by an ego-economy where influencers rule. Lolcows are the flipside of celebrities, stalkers are the flipside of fans.
Narcissism is a big feedback loop, starting from childhood. There are intergenerational effects from the Boomers. Shrinking birth cohorts means more parental investment in a smaller number of children. Only-child syndrome existed in ancient times, has now spread among the general population. Every kid thinks they are Alexander the Great.
Harm avoidance also feeds narcissism. If parents let their kids get bullied / scraped, it helps kids learn they are not invincible, and need to be empathetic / consider the feelings of others. If teachers intervene at every opportunity to prevent all bullying / conflict, then that’s the narcissist’s paradise.
Parental spanking doesn't solve the problem, because spanking is a form of negative attention. Whether yelling or praising, parental attention is the problem, not the solution. Boarding school would be a helpful correction. Kids need to experience what it is like to be part of a team cohort (8+ kids) and not receive individualized attention.
After age 12, tutoring is intellectually helpful for advancing academically, but sociologically, individualized attention is a double edged sword. Parents think they are helping, but kids need to learn how to externalize their attention on others rather than constantly internalizing!
This touches on why I took a step back. I was revealing too much of my soul and found myself being written into narratives that had nothing to do with me. I like personal writing but don’t enjoy being a public persona. Many of us felt pushed into that ecosystem after we got exiled from legacy institutions. Becoming personas made us stupider and turned us into caricatures that we lost control of. You hit on this well.
You can still remain anonymous if you’re offering a particularly unique insight or your work is of a superior quality I think. There’s enough authenticity in a genuine point of view that can be defended than communicating your “lived experience” explicitly.
I've seen so many substacker changing several times they account name/handle for the sake of privacy after some to aggressive posts. Luckily Substack gives us the possibility to track them. Changing a photo into a cartoon icon will not help.
this is an important post. I think at some point we're going to re-assess the whole broadcasting aspect of our lives. I like to use the test : "would I post this if no-one was listening/watching?". personally, my posts are often just an extension of a diary, I care not if I'm the only consumer. I also think women are particularly susceptible to the foibles of broadcasting because of their knack for falling into histrionics (broad-brush, yes, I know). I'm reminded of Stephanie Fuchs .. I'm convinced that if she wasn't broadcasting via social media and her most recent book - she would not be living in Africa... but maybe I'm wrong.
My first instincts on the internet was to conceal everything I do, to leave as little traces as possible. I remember while growing up we had to destruct any papers, documents, bills, letters before dumping them in the garbage. Some people supposedly dug into our trash looking for insights and we did it just to be on the safe side. That was then. Now we have infinitely lots more trash, and it's mostly online. But that might not be a sign of relief. So I've been disciplined until recently. Now I've lowered my guard. I'm not in my element anymore. Was trying to push out of my comfort zone.
Swaying back, I wonder if I would be better off with a handwritten journal. Unfortunately people will get to read it too, eventually. Or if it would be better to put everything behind the paywall just to be sure that nobody will reach it online. Using the paywall to keep >>everybody<< out!
I recently had a (much older) friend tell me he has started to write out an auto-biography of sorts. Would I be interested in reading something my grandparents left behind that summarized their life and reflections? YUP. It has made me think about doing something similar, it never occurred to me because I have never considered my life to be that interesting .. but that isn't fair to my unborn grandchildren.
My grandfather did this, also my father, but the same as you, I don't feel like my life is half that interesting. Plus I don't remember much of it weirdly. What remains on the table for me is musings and reflections, and that's what I'm doing. Maybe my unborn grandchildren will appreciate
Great job.
Admittedly, I am pseudonymous, but I might be changing that.
My biggest issue with a lot of the anonymous accounts, is some of them with spicy opinions, is that basically they to say whatever they want with little to no consequence.
Of course you talk about race and IQ, you have a digital hijab!
I, on the other hand, put an enormous amount of work into what I write, and I make sure that what I say is backed up by fact when I write an op-ed about public policy.
I understand that some people are anonymous for good reasons. And they put a lot of work into their product. But I do think it degrades the overall experience.
The paranoia of "being seen" is the flip side of the narcissism which is driven by an ego-economy where influencers rule. Lolcows are the flipside of celebrities, stalkers are the flipside of fans.
It really is a narcissist’s game, I wonder if it's selection effects or incentives corralling more relative normies into narcissistic traits
Narcissism is a big feedback loop, starting from childhood. There are intergenerational effects from the Boomers. Shrinking birth cohorts means more parental investment in a smaller number of children. Only-child syndrome existed in ancient times, has now spread among the general population. Every kid thinks they are Alexander the Great.
Harm avoidance also feeds narcissism. If parents let their kids get bullied / scraped, it helps kids learn they are not invincible, and need to be empathetic / consider the feelings of others. If teachers intervene at every opportunity to prevent all bullying / conflict, then that’s the narcissist’s paradise.
Parental spanking doesn't solve the problem, because spanking is a form of negative attention. Whether yelling or praising, parental attention is the problem, not the solution. Boarding school would be a helpful correction. Kids need to experience what it is like to be part of a team cohort (8+ kids) and not receive individualized attention.
After age 12, tutoring is intellectually helpful for advancing academically, but sociologically, individualized attention is a double edged sword. Parents think they are helping, but kids need to learn how to externalize their attention on others rather than constantly internalizing!
A person with histrionic personality disorder may:
- Feel underappreciated or depressed when they’re not the center of attention.
- Have rapidly shifting and shallow emotions.
- Be dramatic and extremely emotionally expressive, even to the point of embarrassing friends and family in public.
- Have a “larger than life” presence.
- Be persistently charming and flirtatious.
- Be overly concerned with their physical appearance.
- Use their physical appearance to draw attention to themselves by wearing bright-colored clothing or revealing clothing.
- Act inappropriately sexual with most of the people they meet, even when they’re not sexually attracted to them.
- Speak dramatically and express strong opinions but with few facts or details to support their opinions.
- Be gullible and easily influenced by others, especially by the people they admire.
- Think that their relationships with others are closer than they usually are.
- Have difficulty maintaining relationships, often seeming fake or shallow in their interactions with others.
- Need instant gratification and become bored or frustrated very easily.
- Constantly seek reassurance or approval.
reading the symptoms of histrionics is like reading the Communist Manifesto, we're shocked that we're actually soaking in it
Great points, I'd like to write an article on this when I have the time.
This touches on why I took a step back. I was revealing too much of my soul and found myself being written into narratives that had nothing to do with me. I like personal writing but don’t enjoy being a public persona. Many of us felt pushed into that ecosystem after we got exiled from legacy institutions. Becoming personas made us stupider and turned us into caricatures that we lost control of. You hit on this well.
Really good, Alex!
You can still remain anonymous if you’re offering a particularly unique insight or your work is of a superior quality I think. There’s enough authenticity in a genuine point of view that can be defended than communicating your “lived experience” explicitly.
I would not use this word. I am sure there are many other words in English you can use.
I've seen so many substacker changing several times they account name/handle for the sake of privacy after some to aggressive posts. Luckily Substack gives us the possibility to track them. Changing a photo into a cartoon icon will not help.